That silence that has existed since I last blogged? That's not silence at all. It's screaming actually. It's the sound of failure. Not just falling off the wagon, but jumping off. With both feet.
The last two months have looked like this: eat, eat, binge, binge, eat, eat, eat, binge, eat, binge.
Like crazy amounts of eating. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that is spiraling out of control and I just want to grab onto something steady and it's not happening. The ability to regain control is just out of grasp.
But it needs to stop. The scale said 261.9 this morning. So instead of my Christmas present to myself being a weight in the 220's which I was well on the way to accomplishing, I'm committed to seeing 25-something on Christmas morning. That will have to be success for now.
Grrr......
Monday, December 10, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Trusting the plan....
This week has been sort of a strange one. As the sidebar shows, my weight is continuing to decline. (Yippee!) I am starting to really notice the change and others are starting to see it as well.
But then came this week. I weighed Saturday and was super excited. Then, throughout the last few days, my weight had gone up about 2.5 pounds. It threw me for a loop because honestly, I'm tracking every bite of food. I rarely go over my daily points and have used few weekly points also. My mind kind of started to freak out.
My first instinct? "Screw it. I'm eating." Thankfully, I didn't follow my first instinct. Instead, I have repeated the mantra "Trust the plan. Trust the plan." to myself A LOT. I was able to hold my self-destructive habits at bay and trust the fact that if my points were in line, that eventually the scale would right itself and everything would be fine.
And wouldn't you know it? This morning, my weight was back where I started at last Saturday. So, while this probably won't be a stellar number weight loss for the week, I survived the chaos and did not binge or completely self-destruct.
I'm now 76 days binge-free! 100, here I come!!!
But then came this week. I weighed Saturday and was super excited. Then, throughout the last few days, my weight had gone up about 2.5 pounds. It threw me for a loop because honestly, I'm tracking every bite of food. I rarely go over my daily points and have used few weekly points also. My mind kind of started to freak out.
My first instinct? "Screw it. I'm eating." Thankfully, I didn't follow my first instinct. Instead, I have repeated the mantra "Trust the plan. Trust the plan." to myself A LOT. I was able to hold my self-destructive habits at bay and trust the fact that if my points were in line, that eventually the scale would right itself and everything would be fine.
And wouldn't you know it? This morning, my weight was back where I started at last Saturday. So, while this probably won't be a stellar number weight loss for the week, I survived the chaos and did not binge or completely self-destruct.
I'm now 76 days binge-free! 100, here I come!!!
Friday, September 21, 2012
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Thursday, September 13, 2012
Don't you just hate when....
You are making dinner and it turns out terribly. Not because the food or recipe was bad but because everything that could go wrong went wrong while you were making it. Yeah, that was tonight.
Our menu for the evening was Oven Baked Fish Sticks, Spaghetti Squash (with pancake syrup, butter, and cinnamon...yum!), and a fruit salad. Well, I burnt the fish sticks because the squash wasn't cooking as fast as I thought so I ended up leaving the fish in too long. After all that, I didn't cook the squash long enough so it was still crunchy. And it's the end of the week and I was out of most fruit, so we ended up with applesauce.
The thing about eating on plan consistently is that there isn't a lot of extra food consumed. So when I have a meal, I am seriously looking forward to it. Tonight's dinner of burnt fish sticks and a container of applesauce was not exactly scrumptious.
Oh well, life goes on. I'll do better tomorrow.
And, oh yeah, 61 days binge-free!! I am rocking this thing!!
Our menu for the evening was Oven Baked Fish Sticks, Spaghetti Squash (with pancake syrup, butter, and cinnamon...yum!), and a fruit salad. Well, I burnt the fish sticks because the squash wasn't cooking as fast as I thought so I ended up leaving the fish in too long. After all that, I didn't cook the squash long enough so it was still crunchy. And it's the end of the week and I was out of most fruit, so we ended up with applesauce.
The thing about eating on plan consistently is that there isn't a lot of extra food consumed. So when I have a meal, I am seriously looking forward to it. Tonight's dinner of burnt fish sticks and a container of applesauce was not exactly scrumptious.
Oh well, life goes on. I'll do better tomorrow.
And, oh yeah, 61 days binge-free!! I am rocking this thing!!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
Still at it....
Yep, I'm still here! And unlike most blog hiatuses, I have not fallen off the wagon. Woohoo for that. As you can see from the sidebar, I am currently down 20 pounds since we started HFA. My little girl is down 4.6. And we are actually still having a great time. Having all of the meals planned is making food choices simple. I don't always follow each day perfectly, but rather mix things up throughout the week. The recipes are pretty yummy so that always helps too.
We are back in school now. Which makes it a little harder for Mommy because there is no one but me around to make control decisions on what I eat. But so far so good. My cravings are tapering off and I feel satisfied with what I do eat.
And, oh yeah, I'm still binge free!!! For 42 days!!! This is my longest streak of being binge free since at least 2007. Maybe even longer. And it feels amazing. :)
We are back in school now. Which makes it a little harder for Mommy because there is no one but me around to make control decisions on what I eat. But so far so good. My cravings are tapering off and I feel satisfied with what I do eat.
And, oh yeah, I'm still binge free!!! For 42 days!!! This is my longest streak of being binge free since at least 2007. Maybe even longer. And it feels amazing. :)
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Hello, Reality
Our "Healthy Family Adventure" is continuing to go great. It seems so random though that meals out are scheduled into their plan. That's good I suppose, but it still was strange today to tell my daughter that a hamburger and fries at a fast food joint was our "planned" lunch. :)
We ended up at McDonald's and we each got a cheeseburger Happy Meal. I like their new ones. It came with the burger, a very small serving of fries and a pack of apple slices. We both got iced tea to drink.
Once I came home, I logged onto WW to enter my points. They did not have the new style happy meal listed so I went searching for the nutrition info on the Mickey D website. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that our lunch was right around 400-450 calories. That's awesome!
What I also discovered is a nifty "meal builder" tool on their site. You just click on the food and "add" it to your meal. Then, it gives you the nutrition info for your meal.
Let's back up a little. McDonald's is one of my go-to binge spots. I love their food ( I know, most people don't.) One of my favorite things to do was wait to drop my daughter off at kindergarten so I only had my little boy, and then go get ridiculous quantities of food from there, come home and sit on the couch, and eat all of it. By myself. With no other eyes to see and no one to know. I shudder thinking about it and hate to admit it, but it's the facts.
Out of curiosity, while on the site today I built a meal with all the food that I normally would get there on a binge trip. The total made me sick to my stomach. I'm not stupid. I knew it was a lot. But seeing the total was mind boggling. Ready for it?
2600 Calories.
347 grams of Carbs.
105 Fat Grams.
105!!!
That's nearly 2 days worth of calories!!!
Some weeks, I would go there twice a week to order that. And then wonder why I was physically and mentally sick for the rest of the night and most of the next day.
There are no words. The numbers speak for themselves.
We ended up at McDonald's and we each got a cheeseburger Happy Meal. I like their new ones. It came with the burger, a very small serving of fries and a pack of apple slices. We both got iced tea to drink.
Once I came home, I logged onto WW to enter my points. They did not have the new style happy meal listed so I went searching for the nutrition info on the Mickey D website. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that our lunch was right around 400-450 calories. That's awesome!
What I also discovered is a nifty "meal builder" tool on their site. You just click on the food and "add" it to your meal. Then, it gives you the nutrition info for your meal.
Let's back up a little. McDonald's is one of my go-to binge spots. I love their food ( I know, most people don't.) One of my favorite things to do was wait to drop my daughter off at kindergarten so I only had my little boy, and then go get ridiculous quantities of food from there, come home and sit on the couch, and eat all of it. By myself. With no other eyes to see and no one to know. I shudder thinking about it and hate to admit it, but it's the facts.
Out of curiosity, while on the site today I built a meal with all the food that I normally would get there on a binge trip. The total made me sick to my stomach. I'm not stupid. I knew it was a lot. But seeing the total was mind boggling. Ready for it?
2600 Calories.
347 grams of Carbs.
105 Fat Grams.
105!!!
That's nearly 2 days worth of calories!!!
Some weeks, I would go there twice a week to order that. And then wonder why I was physically and mentally sick for the rest of the night and most of the next day.
There are no words. The numbers speak for themselves.
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