As I began to realize that I needed to talk to someone about this bingeing issue outside of my home, I called a nutritionist/social acquaintance that I had met with a couple of years ago. Her name is Diane.
Diane is the first person who ever suggested to me that I had a disordered view of eating. Up to that point I always assumed that since I was overweight I just liked food more than the average person and therefore, that explained the large quantities of food I consumed on a regular basis. Apparently that is not that case.
Anyways, she recommended Lois to me. She said that Lois is her go-to person for her eating disorder clients and that she is awesome. Before I could chicken out I called Lois and set up an appointment.
We had our first meeting a couple weeks ago and I was absolutely petrified on her drive to her office. Would she think I was crazy? Would she just she me as some fat girl who needed to put down the cheeseburger and get a grip?
Thankfully she was neither of those. She was wonderful and calm and acted as if I was not broken beyond repair. She offered me neither false hope of an easy road nor made it seem as if I was so far gone that there no light at the end of the tunnel.
I am not naive enough to believe that there is not a long and rocky road ahead of me, but I am feeling a sense of hope that has not existed in a very long time for some peace in my mind and heart and that is good enough for now.
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