That silence that has existed since I last blogged? That's not silence at all. It's screaming actually. It's the sound of failure. Not just falling off the wagon, but jumping off. With both feet.
The last two months have looked like this: eat, eat, binge, binge, eat, eat, eat, binge, eat, binge.
Like crazy amounts of eating. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that is spiraling out of control and I just want to grab onto something steady and it's not happening. The ability to regain control is just out of grasp.
But it needs to stop. The scale said 261.9 this morning. So instead of my Christmas present to myself being a weight in the 220's which I was well on the way to accomplishing, I'm committed to seeing 25-something on Christmas morning. That will have to be success for now.
Grrr......
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