about last night.....

Since meeting with the dietician, I have been trying to follow her advice to eat every 2-3 hours. Her recommendation is that even if I'm not "hungry" per se, the goal is to train my body to trust that I'm going to feed it regularly. I have overeaten and binged and then crash dieted so much that, according to her, my body doesn't trust me. So, even if it's something small, she told me to just make sure to eat regularly. It is also supposed to be helping my blood sugar levels stay more even instead of the roller coaster I tend to keep them on. And I have been doing this pretty well, except yesterday I did horrible at it.

Actually, I barely ate anything all day. A bagel at 6 am. A string cheese at 11:30. A slice of french bread at 2:45. And that was it. Around about 4:30, I kinda started to spaz. My mind was racing all over the board. I teared up about 5 times. I felt frantic. Working out was the last thing I wanted to do. I normally get to the gym around 6pm. Last night, at 6:07, I practically crawled out the door kicking and screaming. Then, on the whole drive there, I debated even going. Maybe going to get some ice cream instead. Or maybe just turning around and going home. I mean, they close at 7. I knew I couldn't get my whole set in. I might as well do none. Great thoughts, right? Finally, I pulled into the parking lot and got out of my car.

Upon walking in, the trainer could tell I was off. I practically threw my keys on the counter. And grumbled through my entire first cardio set. I was just off. As I started through my exercises, my balance was crap. I fell off the step up board, my legs kept coming off the exercise ball, and I was literally shaking all over. Then it hit me, duh! My blood sugar was in the toilet. No food equaled no energy. After pressing on and finishing about 80% of my routine, I headed home. And proceeded to eat a rather hearty dinner of leftover pot roast, skinny mashed potatoes, carrots, and onions.

The truth is, I know that if I had stayed home, I would have eaten some of my daughter's halloween candy. Or a slice of the champagne cake my parents had brought over. Or both. Instead, after dinner, I completed the other 20% of my workouts in my computer room.

And went to bed feeling so glad that I had gone to the gym instead of giving up!