the plan....

Friday, April 24th. I go to see my OBGYN. I love her. She walks into the room and asks why I have come in to see her. I tell her that I want to have another baby.

Her response? "Not at this weight."

What weight is she talking about? 273 lbs. My all-time highest weight. This is the highest number I have ever seen on a scale.

From there, I receive the butt-kicking that I very much so need. Some patients would hate it. I, on the other hand, really love it that day. It is exactly what I need to hear.

She nicely but firmly tells me that for my health and the health of a baby, she will not help me get pregnant at this time. If I insist on pursuing a pregnancy at my current weight I will have to go back to the fertility specialist I worked with on my first pregnancy. Instead, she tells me that I have a (specific quote here) "wishy-washy" personality. She looks over my chart and sees that in the last 3 years I have gone off and on my medications to control my PCOS and birth control numerous times. This is partially why my cycles and hormones and moods and weight is so erratic to begin with. I am never faithful to stay on them and let them do the job that they are supposed to do.

Her preferred plan?
In the next six months......
-take 100mg Topamax daily faithfully (prescribed by other doctor)
-take 1500mg Metformin daily faithfully
-get as close to 200 lbs as possible
-find someone (counseling, Weight Watchers group, etc.) to help with core of eating issues
-keep menstrual record chart consistently
-starting in July chart Basal Body temperature consistently

.....return in October with all completed and then we will start working on getting pregnant with my next child.

And how am I doing so far? Well, I haven't missed a single dose of medication since that day!! Woohoo! This is nothing short of a miracle for me. And as of last Saturday I am 2 pounds shy of 30 pounds lost. Working hard and keeping at. One of the last things she said to me in April was that I needed to decide what I wanted and then decide if I was willing to put in the work to reach that goal. I want this and I am going to do everything I need to do in order to get there..........