the plan....

Friday, April 24th. I go to see my OBGYN. I love her. She walks into the room and asks why I have come in to see her. I tell her that I want to have another baby.

Her response? "Not at this weight."

What weight is she talking about? 273 lbs. My all-time highest weight. This is the highest number I have ever seen on a scale.

From there, I receive the butt-kicking that I very much so need. Some patients would hate it. I, on the other hand, really love it that day. It is exactly what I need to hear.

She nicely but firmly tells me that for my health and the health of a baby, she will not help me get pregnant at this time. If I insist on pursuing a pregnancy at my current weight I will have to go back to the fertility specialist I worked with on my first pregnancy. Instead, she tells me that I have a (specific quote here) "wishy-washy" personality. She looks over my chart and sees that in the last 3 years I have gone off and on my medications to control my PCOS and birth control numerous times. This is partially why my cycles and hormones and moods and weight is so erratic to begin with. I am never faithful to stay on them and let them do the job that they are supposed to do.

Her preferred plan?
In the next six months......
-take 100mg Topamax daily faithfully (prescribed by other doctor)
-take 1500mg Metformin daily faithfully
-get as close to 200 lbs as possible
-find someone (counseling, Weight Watchers group, etc.) to help with core of eating issues
-keep menstrual record chart consistently
-starting in July chart Basal Body temperature consistently

.....return in October with all completed and then we will start working on getting pregnant with my next child.

And how am I doing so far? Well, I haven't missed a single dose of medication since that day!! Woohoo! This is nothing short of a miracle for me. And as of last Saturday I am 2 pounds shy of 30 pounds lost. Working hard and keeping at. One of the last things she said to me in April was that I needed to decide what I wanted and then decide if I was willing to put in the work to reach that goal. I want this and I am going to do everything I need to do in order to get there..........

just the facts ma'am....

who: 26 year old mother of a three year old little girl. Husband and I would like another child. Life long struggle with weight. Summer of 2007 went down to 210 lbs. Spring 2009 saw high of 275 lbs. Much of recent weight came as a result of feeling pressure to lose weight quickly in effort to get pregnant.

pregnancy stats: two pregnancies. one miscarriage at 15 weeks. one birth. diagnosed with PCOS in 2004. pregnant with daughter following cycle of Clomid and IUI in summer 2005.

In late April I finally decided that I no longer cared if the weight came off before the next pregnancy. I am so totally ready for another baby that I can barely think. The desire to lose the weight first was born out of both health and vanity reasons but neither of those no longer really mattered to me so I called my OB and went on in to find out our options.

However, the appointment did not exactly go as expected......