Weigh-In Day No. 16

It has been another great week.  I was hoping to be back at 260 before I left for my trip on the 12th. I have exceeded that currently, so any loss next week is just icing on the cake. ( Or padding for the cruise.)  Sometimes, I get so frustrated at myself that I basically wasted my time from the end of January until now.  This is exciting today, but the truth is, I was here 3 months ago and then just messed around.  Oh well, can't change that now.  I guess I should just look at it as at least I'm still trying.  I could be 20-25 pounds up in 3 months.  So, I guess still being here is a good thing.  In a way.

Anywho, today also marked my first weigh-in for Weight Watchers.  As with here, the loss was 4.8 lbs.  And I lost a daily point.  That's okay.  It's a good exchange for a lower weight in general.  The plan was pretty easy to follow this week.  I've done WW before with the original Points system so this hasn't been a huge adjustment.  It's hard to say how well I did on using my daily points because last Friday I had to have a wisdom tooth pulled on emergency notice.  As a result, my food for Friday-Sunday looked like "milkshake, refried beans, mashed potatoes, smoothie, ice cream"  Not exactly a model diet, but I did stay within my points each day.  I used 5 weekly points last week also. 

This week should be a better indicator.  But for now, yea for 4.8 lbs. gone!!

Before Pictures, part one

One of the wonderful and horrible things about digital photos, is that I tend to quickly delete all of the truly hideous photos of myself. Therefore, I don't have all that many pictures from my terrible times. That being said, I do still have some. Here are a few from the last couple of years. These should probably be labeled "Should Have Been A Wakeup Call" photos.

 This picture was taken in May 2010. My son was about 5 weeks old and I weighed around 250.

 This picture is from December 2010 when I weighed between 290 and 300.  This is honestly one of only 2 pictures from this weight.  Those are a 24 pant and I could barely button them.

This picture is from July 2011.  I had actually lost about 15 pounds at that time and thought I was looking better.  I cried when I saw the pictures from this day.  I weigh about 265 here.

Weight Watchers

Last week, I signed up for Weight Watchers online.  This is the culmination of a couple of months of thinking. And a few reasons.

#1. I have been reading so many inspiring blogs these last few months and many of those lovely folks follow the WW plan.  I thought that maybe I would enjoy it too.

#2. I haven't really been tracking my food or calories and their online tracker makes it soo easy.  I have had success with WW in the past and know that it works.

#3. This is the big confession.  For the last few months I have been researching and contemplating gastric bypass surgery.  I am so over this weight thing.  So many days, 100+ pounds to lose just feels like a mountain I will never get over.  I know that surgery isn't a magical cure, but it would get me down to where I could go on with life much sooner.  I have oscillated so much on my thoughts that I just can't decide that it's for me.  Also, my weight is totally borderline.  The BMI cutoff is 40.  Mine is 39.  Do I really want to gain weight to have weight loss surgery?  Am I that off?  Given that my insurance requires proof of participation in a 6 month weight loss program to approve surgery, I decided that I would make that choice myself.  6 months of WW.  Full commitment.   At the end of that time, I will reassess my decisions. 

All things hopeful, at the end of these 6 months I will have lost a noticeable amount of weight and gained the faith in myself needed to power through to my goal.

Here's looking forward to October 25th.

Weigh-In Day No. 15

That's more like it.  Much more work to do, but I am feeling so much better after this week.  I am choosing not to dwell on the time wasted, but to focus on what I do from here on out.  I leave for vacation on May 12th.  I would like to at least be back in the 257-259 range by then if only because that's what I weighed when I bought most of my clothes for the trip.  I realized that even back in that 265-270 zone they don't fit in a comfortable way.  The goal seems totally doable.

Now, after my 9 day trip (which includes a 7 day cruise), I may be starting all over but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

An Unexpected Cost of Obesity

I'm used to dealing with the things that being obese costs me.  Like on a daily basis actually.  But today, I faced a $$ cost from my high weight that I did not expect. 

Just after Christmas a year ago, I finally decided to take off my wedding rings.  I knew they were too tight, but they were still bearable and so I kept wearing them.  They finally reached a point that I could feel the sensation changing in my finger.  On the morning I attempted to take them off, it hurt so badly and ripped so much skin off in the process that I had wounds that were still healing months later.  I figured that at least I hadn't needed to cut them off.  But it was very close.

Since that day, I have gone ringless.  It hasn't bothered me too much, but sometimes I really miss them.  Last weekend, during my women's retreat, a friend was talking about how she takes pride in her rings and the symbol that they are of her commitment.  When I looked around, all these ladies were wearing their wedding rings.  None of them were overly flashy or very large.  But they were on.  And they meant something.  When I looked down at my hand, all I saw was my fat finger.  I decided that it was time to get them sized and get them back on my finger.

This morning I went down to the jewelry store and had my rings and finger sized. The rings? A 7 3/4.  I had them sized down when I lost weight in 2007.  My finger?  A 9 1/4.  No wonder I can't get them over my knuckle. I went ahead with my request and was told I could pick them up on Wednesday.  That was the awesome part.  The not awesome part?

It will cost me $234 to have them sized up that much.  That is the cost of inserting extra gold, sizing them, and having them re-flashed.

Most days the cost of my weight is emotional.  Today, it hit the wallet hard.

My Life by the Numbers

When I think back about my life, I see all the fun times and good memories.  But I also see a number attached to each of those things.  More specifically, my weight.  I'm sure that I'm not alone in this.  I often think about or refer to weight loss the same way.  If I lose X pounds, then I'll be back to what I weighed when Y happened. 

For my own information, I thought I would make a timeline/list of my weight throughout my life.

1983: Born,  8 lbs. 10 oz.
1994-1996: Junior High, I don't know specific numbers, but I remember the kids making fun of a boy during Presidential Fitness testing who weighed 180.  I remember panicking because I was close to the same weight.
1996-2000: High School, I hovered at a size 14/16 throughout these years.  I remember feeling like I was HUGE.  I probably weighed around 165-175.  Why no one told me that I was only about 10 pounds off from my ideal weight, I will never understand
Feb, 2, 2001: First date with my husband, 172 lbs.
May 8, 2002: Get engaged, 208 lbs.
May 17, 2003: Get married, 226 lbs.
Dec. 2003-Feb. 2004: Join Weight Watchers with husband, lose down to 213 lbs., find out I'm pregnant.
April 22, 2004: Have miscarriage. Begin eat-a-thon.
July 2005:  Begin fertility treatments.  Told to lose some weight. Weight approx. 245
August 2005:  Get pregnant with daughter, 228 lbs.
May 2006: Give birth, 257 lbs.
June 2007: Begin eating right and exercising, 258 lbs.
March 10, 2008: My birthday, weigh 215 lbs.
March 2008- April 2009: Slowly gain weight back and then some. See doctor in April about having a second baby.  Agree on 6 month plan of meds for PCOS and losing weight. Office weight: 274 lbs.
August 2009: Return to doctor 2 months ahead of schedule and pregnant.  Office weight: 232 lbs.
April 2010: Give birth to son., 257 lbs.
January 2011: Highest weight I've ever seen on a scale, 291 lbs.  I think it may have been higher at some point.
May 2011: Begin Biggest Loser contest with friends, 279 lbs.
July 2011: Win Biggest Loser contest, 257 lbs.
August 2011: Eat like crap, 265 lbs.
October 2011: Decide enough is enough.  Begin working out and meet with dietician.  280 lbs.

Wow.  It's so crazy to look at it written out like that.  But kind of therapeutic also.  I remember reaching the 200 pound mark and freaking out. Now I'm so used to that being my weight.  I can't believe it's been 10 years since I was in the 100s.  I was 19 the last time I weighed less than 200 lbs.  Ideally, by the time I reach 30 next March, I'll be back in Onederland.  That's the goal.  One day at a time.

Weigh In Day No. 14

No matter how many times I do this, it always stinks to see how fast weight comes back on compared to how hard it is to take it off. Before my anniversary trip in February, I weighed 257 lbs. Now, just 8 weeks later, there it is. 270 lbs. Yuck. That's almost 2 lbs. a week. Yowza. But I choose today to be ever moving forward.